I stumbled upon a video from Dr. Mark Goulston that really resonated with me and I just had to share it with you. So next week we’ll talk service models.
This week let’s talk about listening – are you listening to your clients? To your vendors? To your partners? It’s really amazing what can be accomplished when we listen rather than talk. In fact, a point made by Dr. Goulston, sometimes the key to getting exactly what you want is all in how well you listen.
He describes a scenario in which at ten separate points during a single conversation he had the itch to stop the conversation and lend miraculous insight to his prospective client. Rather than do this, however, he choose to extend the conversation using what he calls are “conversation-extenders” (i.e., “tell me a little bit more about ‘x’, could you?”). Each time he did this the conversation deepened.
Dr. Goulston builds deep conversations by continually asking himself three simple questions during a conversation:
- Will what I’m about to say add any substance to the conversation?
- Am I doing this just to impress them with my insight/knowledge?
- What can I do to keep focus?
My question for you is: what can we do to deepen conversations, strengthen relationships and connect with people? Maybe if we take these insights into the conference room we can have more meaningful discussions, build these better relationships and reap the benefits from really connecting with someone. Let’s face it; it’s much more fun to be someone’s friend at Starbucks than it is to be their “connection” on LinkedIn.
Watch this video for yourself and let me know what you do to add substance to a conversation!